Perfect Experiences
by Zero's Odyssey
Summary: 10 years after Majin Buu was destroyed, Cell & Frieza get the opportunity to return to Earth as dead for a time, and gets to interact the Z-Fighters in a new way. What sick, crazy and somewhat humorous torture must the Earth endure now?
1. The Awakening

Author's Note: I'll be making a few stories with Cell and Frieza re-entering the lives of the Z-Fighters. In this version takes place in the 10 year gap between Dragon Ball Z and GT. I'll dedicate this to ShadowMajin, one of the SweetestIrony creators who let us engage ourselves with a "helping each other out" situation.

Disclaimer: I realize that I'll have to do this now after reading other fanfics: I don't own the Dragon Ball series, but

own the Dell Dimension E510 computer I'm writing this on (wow, I'm a nerd).

_Perfect Experiences- Version 1_

Chapter 1

"Ughhhh. Oh shoot. I'm going to be in trouble, how could I forget something so foolish," complained Gohan Son, he was an honored intellectual scholar was one the Earth's top scientists. "Arrgghhh!"

"Honey, are you okay," asked his wife Videl. She was the daughter of (Wait, wait, wait a minute. I shouldn't have to explain the characters to the audience. If you're in the Dragon Ball Z section, you would probably know this already.)

"I'm all right. I just forgot to put a period in the last sentence of a letter to my manager. And how could I remember this now! Arrghhh!"

"Gosh," Videl sighed. "Don't worry, who would notice, and besides, you know what tomorrow is right."

Gohan quietly grumbled, "I do."

Tomorrow was their 5th wedding anniversary. Yet perhaps of coincidentuallity (that's right, 17 letters), Mr. Satan would host a little gathering for his friends and family.

"Though, I just wish Dad would be here," Gohan said.

A few weeks ago, the 25th annual World Martial Arts Tournament had taken place. Goku had left the tournament with the dedication to train a young boy named Uub. Uub was the reincarnation of the evil Majin Buu who attacked 10 years ago.

"It's all right, we'll all still have a good time."

Just then, their daughter Pan (who is claimed by fans to be very annoying in GT), barges in.

"Come on, let's go see Grandpa Satan!" (man, that just cracks me up)

Meanwhile, in the dark depths of Hell (or H.F.I.L in the edited dub) was a section where the evil villians that have died as a result of direct or indirect contact with the Z-Fighters exist. They sat around, talked, or wandered the infinite unknown. They have experienced many paranormal things, and existed some of the most gloomy lives (or deaths) in the universe. One of King Yemma's guards came to speak with the creatures here:

"Attention, attention. NAPPA! STOP LOOKING AT MY LOAFERS, I JUST SHINED THEM A FEW CENTURIES AGO! You see, we have two turncoats in the palace, they're corrupt and mistreating our 'guests'." Everyone then cheered.

"SHUT UP, HALF-LIVES. You see, we're to have to replace their souls with yours. Everyone cheered even louder, especially Babidi.

"So I have all your names, and I'm going to pick one person's name out of this hat. That person will choose another person, too. So they will each return to the place of their death and coexist with the living, though you'll be dead. If you can make it for three months without killing anyone, then we'll resurrect you back to life using the corrupts' souls."

"YEAH, YEAH, GO, GO, GO. I LIKE DAT BABY!"

"You know what, just shut up Recoome, just shut your pea-brain self up," commanded Frieza.

"And the winner is... CELL!" Everyone then begged Cell to choose them to return to the living world with him.

"Hmmm. You're all miserable animals, but at least Frieza's a trained miserable animal. I choose you."

"All right," said the guard, "Come with me." So they went to the palace where they spoke to Yemma himself.

"So you've been chosen, just remember, no killing." Before Frieza could make a smart comment, both him and Cell vanished with a flash of light to Earth, to the exact locations of their deaths.

Author's Note: So how was that first chapter, please review to express your thoughts (you can only review with a FanFiction account). From here, things will get real crazy!


	2. Home, Not So Sweet, Home

Author's Note: Now Cell and Frieza will reunite with their distant enemies. How will this turn out. Trust me, the story gets only better from here.

Disclaimer:

Nappa: "Vegeta, what does the scouter say about how many anime series' Zero's Odyssey owns?"

Vegeta: "It's under 1!"

Nappa: "UNDER 1! Oh, well that's not bad."

Vegeta: "Drop him, boy."

Nappa: "Gggrrrrhhhh!"

Does that explain it? Society nowadays...

_Perfect Experiences- Version 1_

Chapter 2

By now, all the Z-Fighters, and their weak human companions have arrived at Mr. Satan's mansion. Mr. Satan was greeting his guests at the largest of his 21 doors.

"Wow, cool. I've been here before, this is so AWESOME," said Sharpner (I know, I wanted to still ridicule him 10 years after his glory time in the Great Saiyaman Saga).

"There are six bathrooms in here, a huge garden, a wild stereo system, and a state-of-the-art alcohol defibrillator system in this place," followed Sharpner's friend Erasa.

"Bulla, why don't we play hide-and-seek outside," asked Pan to her friend.

"Okey-dokey. You hide, I'll count to twenny! ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR! FI-,"

"Child, could you quiet down your preschool session. Your agitating the hell out of me," barked her rough line dad, Vegeta.

"You know," said Gohan, "you could ease up on her, she's just playing like any other child."

"Hmph. Half-bloods," Vegeta muttered under his breath.

Cell, found himself inside a bathroom while someone was taking a shower. He could see that person's silhouette inside.

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Who's there?" the woman behind the curtain asked. She looked back, saw him.

"AAAHHHH! SCARY PERVERT!"

"Okay, look. If you forget this ever happened, I won't kill you, got it?"

The woman whimpered ," o-oo-oka-ay-y."

Cell then sensed Frieza's power level and took himself there using Instant Transmission. Frieza was in the middle of a laser tag game. They were already screaming when "the big, white lizard showed up." A little kid shot his laser gun at Frieza. He snatched it, set it in his palms, and obliterated it.

"MOMMMYYYY! THE LIZARD BROKE MY SHOOTING THINGY!"

"Hmph," Cell made a very Vegeta-like smirk. "Wait, what the-."

"Who the bonkers do you think you are, punk!" The woman, old enough to be the kid's fat grandma with botox screamed at Frieza. She pulled out a shotgun out of her purse (Don't ask me how. I'm a writer, not a physicist.) and aimed at the two.

"Please, come on. I'm not going to return for the crap. I'll give you until the count of three. One." counted Cell.

"I'll turn you both to kitty litter when I'm done with you land-lubbards."

"Two."

"Lady, you're pissing me off." said Frieza.

"SAYONARA, SUCKERS," the lady said that in a tone that was 40 years ahead of her time.

"Three." Cell vanished like a blur, then re-appeared nest to the lady. He grabbed her shotgun and bent it into a bow tie.

"GOD DA-," Cell then proceeded to knock the woman unconscious. He grabbed Frieza's arm and muttered, "Come on, let's go pay our little friends a visit."

"WHA-," they then teleported to the roof of Satan Mansion.

Their odyssey would soon begin. Their odyssey of, who knows.

Author's Note: Finally, the good parts. I can't wait to finish the other chapters. Please review. Until then:

"SAYONARA, SUCKERS.!


	3. The Butterfly Raises Hell

Author's Note: Okay, so now things get hairy! I just notice, that my fiction usually goes to the bottom of the Title menu, which is sort of unusual, but expected.

Disclaimer: I should make a series called Not Dragon Ball Z, so the rest of the world can see I don't own the original.

_Perfect Experiences- Version 1_

Chapter 3

"Cell, what exactly are you planning to do?" asked Frieza

Cell replies, "Don't worry. First of all, you can use that technique where you turn yourself invisible and also mask your ki to investigate the situation. I'll just suppress mine the best I can, and take a look around. We should try to see the lives of these people to further see how they work, got it?"

"Of course, why shouldn't we?" Frieza had ignored all but the second sentence.

So the duo decided to sneak around, and into the jaws of, as Cell described years ago, 'our mortal, and mutual enemies'".

The women were placing and setting up the food, especially Chi-Chi.

"Come on, we can do this. We have to hurry before the men arrive."

"Calm down," said Bulma. "It's not like Cell and Frieza will come to kill us if we don't speed up."

Frieza, who had been spying from outside, muttered to himself. "You just can't be sure about that, can you. Hm, hm, hm."

Cell, who had flown into one of the bathrooms upstairs, settled down. "Doesn't this bring back memories." He began to walk with his creaky footsteps (have you heard those knickers), when he heard the voice of little girls.

"Come on, Bulla. Let's go see my mom's old room. Wait a minute, I think I hear something."

"I don't hear any-wooaaahhh!" Pan dragged Bulla towards Cell's footsteps.

"I wonder who's this." Cell revealed himself to see them.

The two girls, stood there paralyzed.

"It's a talking butterfly," Pan proudly proclaimed.

"No, I think it's giant thumb tack."

"I think those things are wings."

"They might be blankets."

"Wings."

"Blankets."

"WINGS!"

"BLANKETS!"

"WINGS!"

"BLANKETS!"

"SHUT UP!" Cell shouted. "My word, are you two retarded?"

_No doubt, they must be Gohan and Vegeta's children, _Cell thought to himself.

"You're a mean butterfly," Pan said. She moved in to attack Cell with a kick aimed at his face.

She hit, though he was unresponsive. "Woah, you're tougher than Wild Tiger." Pan stated.

"Who?" Cell questioned curiously, but then jumped out the window."

"GET BACK HERE, BUTTERFLY MAN." Pan jumped out after him (you can listen to the Assassin's Creed chase theme on YouTube while reading this, it could sound cooler)

She ran like a cheetah after him. Cell was hopping around the grass fields. "This may provide for an interesting 'game'. Hahahaaaa."

"Pan, wait up!" Bulla sluggishly trotted after them.

"What's going on here." Videl could see Pan running an Olympic marathon and shouting.

Cell noticed her come, he used Instant Transmission to disappear quickly before she saw him.

"Mom, you won't believe this. I saw a man, a butterfly man and I started to chase him and fight him."

"WHAATTT!"

"Yeah, it was incredible! I kept hitting him, he didn't even move at first, and he even didn't fight back.

While invisible, Frieza spoke out, "That Cell, he's already been discovered."

The parent and child heard that. "Who said that?" Pan asked, looking around.

"I guess there's no more use of snooping around is there." In that moment, Cell rose slowly from the ground.

"THAT'S HIM! THAT'S HIM! I'M GONNA GET YOU! Yeah, you know Mom, he told me and Bulla to shut up."

Gohan, Goten and Trunks came running outside with all the commotion.

"You know, I personally believe that this is the time that usually all Hell breaks loose." Cell stated while yawning.

Author's Note: So finally, the bang for our buck that we've waited for. Until next time:

"WINGS"

"BLANKETS"

"WINGS"

"BLANKETS"


	4. Oil and Water Don't Mix, Until Now

Author's Note: You know, I'll be on a quest to find ways to entertain the readers here on . First thing is, if you are a fan of Gohan & Videl as a pairing, and wish to express your views on that, and other points, I would recommend joining the SweetestIrony forum, and the group on DeviantArt. We really need more pizzazz on this.

Disclaimer: I don't own DBZ. Happy?

_Perfect Experiences_

Chapter 4

"CELL, YOU DIRTY JACKA- oh, we have guests, heheheh," Frieza bursts out.

"So, this is the infamous Cell, that made the whole world tip over." says Goten.

Frieza then materializes and shows himself, "Well, I guess I shouldn't be that upset. After all, this is when the fun begins."

"You two. You're back, I see. And you've tracked us down, I guess to take your revenge, hm. But how are you two still dead, but you're here on Earth?, Gohan asks.

"Well, coming to see you was Cell's idea, right?" Cell looks at Gohan, but says nothing.

"We thought, that we should forget what ever happened in the past."

"Well, forget my foot," says Trunks (I know that's lame, but he's like that when he grew up.). We know that you two did horrible things in the past, and I hardly believe-"

"You weren't born during our time, so you really have no right to oppose us, you know," Cell stated, as a matter of fact.

Then Videl spoke, "But I was, and at least I know that you, Cell, had done many terrible thin-, "

"Wow, Cell, you were right," Frieza interrupted, "These humans really are annoying."

"Come on guys, what's going on, HOLY DONKEY CRAP!," Mr. Satan came outside, but froze when he saw Cell and Frieza.

"What's going on, Mr. Satan- WOW! It's a butterfly," Majin Buu came out and spoke while looking at Cell.

"HAH! Bulla, I'm right, he is a butterfly," Pan smirked.

"HAA!" Everyone froze, the ground shook. When they turned around, they saw a light electric aura hovering around Cell.

"Can you hold yourselves together for one bloody minute. I'd rather have it so you're cowering in fear."

"Heh, heh, proper," Goten smirked.

"You know, I take that as an insult," Gohan spoke out.

"Sorry, I mean look at- WHAT THE HECK!" Like the wind, Cell suddenly phased next to Goten. "You know, I'm actually thankful I had to stay in Hell, at least it disciplined me enough to-"

"Be ground in the dirt," Vegeta appeared.

"You know, Daddy," Bulla spoke, "I was talking with him earlier, Pan attacked him. Then she chased him around the mansion."

"Is that so, Panny?" Gohan asked.

"Ugh. You let the third-class, quarter blood, I mean, you didn't try to stop him yourself. What have I done, all these years?" Vegeta asked.

"Ho, ho, ho. Vegeta, you've got a daughter now, and she's that awkward. Man, you've gotten soft! Hahaha!" Frieza laughed.

"Frieza, shut up. Do not forget our goal," Cell muttered quickly to Frieza, "Anyway, our hope is to be able to join up with you all, after it's been 17 years."

"20, for me," Frieza said.

"Still, I see that you have some sort of event. I hope you wouldn't mind us joining you all."

"_What makes me think we can trust you, how do you know you don't want revenge." _Vegeta snickered, in his sarcasm.

"If it comforts you, we have been ordered by King Yemma himself, not to kill anyone. Or else, we'll be sent back to Hell."

Then Pan comes out of nowhere (As she is famous for.), "Why don't you guys, trust him."

"Yes, after all, Majin Buu and Vegeta have blown up planets, and killed millions of people. Yet you trust them, why don't you do the same for us." Cell added.

"But let's see if they're breakable," Vegeta said. He turned Super Saiyan, then charged at Cell. He teledodged Vegeta's attacks, tripped him of his feet, and jabbed him to the ground."

"I had no choice."

"Okay, let's try this, " Mr. Satan nervously, and slowly said.

The others started to protest, but Mr. Satan insisted, "This might not be bad. I mean, Buu was bad once, but he changed. *he swallows a lump in his throat* Come-on, let's-come, -ahem- in.

And slowly, and surely, Cell and Frieza entered Mr. Satan's mansion, with questionable smiles on their faces.

This would change a lot of things, either good- or bad.

Author's Note: Ohhhhhh! This is bound to get GREAT! My blood is rushing, and I finally got this in words. Let me know how you think. Until next time:

"What's going on, Mr. Satan- WOW! It's a butterfly!"


	5. A Natural Example of Insanity

Author's Note: Now, this will get crazy. I wonder if this is getting better.

If you are reading this, IAmSakkuraBulmaBriefs (or, something like that), I want to thank you, for being my first reviewer.

Disclaimer: There is a fire, you're trapped inside, and a knight in shining armor comes to rescue a young maiden. The maiden says, "I'll give you anything, except Dragon Ball Z, since I don't own it", imagine me- Zero's Odyssey-, as the maiden, though I'm not a girl.

_Perfect Experiences_

Chapter 5

Cell and Frieza entered Mr. Satan's mansion. Cell never spoke, but Frieza commented out loud. "Man, wow. It's almost as badass as my place."

The rest of the Z-Fighters cautiously walked inside, while eyeballing the two.

"Guys, are you in yet, we're done now," Bulma called out. "Waahh! Why are you two-," she screamed (Guess why.)

"What's wrong, Bulma," Chi-Chi asked.

"Turn around," Chi-Chi did, and the strangest look appeared on her face.

"WHAT THE! You're Cell, THE FREAK WHO SCARED EVERYONE, AND TOOK MY GOKU AWAY!" The wrinkled, but extremely tempered bat charged Cell with her world-famous frying pan, and smashed him in the head.

"Huh," the pan had two big dents in them.

"Why is it that angered mothers keep attacking us today, while knowing what we're capable of," Cell said while sighing.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A TWO-FACED, BACKSTABBING, SON OF A-," Goten had to come and hold her back.

The others came, when Android 18 saw him, pretty much the same thing happened. She charged electricity in her fist, charged, Cell grabbed her wrist, then Gohan AND Krillin had to hold her back.

Soon after, they all (somehow) calmed down, and took their seats at the large, dining table.

Frieza sat in the far end, everyone else sat in the middle, and Mr. Satan sat at the end. One neutral glare was all it took for Mr. Satan to give his seat to Cell. "It's okay- you're- the-guest." When Cell sat down, his tail stabbed through the soft seat.

"So, I see you have quite a gathering here," Cell proclaimed, "Though, where's Goku? I know he's been resurrected before."

"He's training some kid, far from here," Goten answered.

"Oh dear. Won't he come to join his family?," Cell asked with a somewhat, inaudible smirk.

_He's too selfish to care anymore,_ thought Gohan in his head. Yet no one answered.

"So, how was your life. I heard you are bad, but can you tell us why you died?" Pan innocently asked.

Right then, every family member over the age of 20 scolded her.

Cell's eyes started to twitch, but he calmed down. "All right, I'll tell you my life story." (Go look up TimeSplitters Music: Streets, for accompaniment.)

Many of the diners' eyes, instantly jumped to Cell. Especially Sharpner, and Mr. Satan's.

"I was created in a far, distant time. My mission, at first, was to become Perfect."

"What does that mean," Pan somewhat sweetly asked?

"I had to absorb Androids 17 &- sorry to bring back harsh memories but,- 18." Android 18 looked back at him with a fierce scowl. "I had to travel through time, using Bulma's time travel mechanisms to find them, as they were already destroyed in my time dimension."

"Woah! Travel through time!," Goten stupidly exclaimed, "That's crazy."

"Like father, like son," Cell quietly muttered before moving on, "Anyway, to sum it all up, I eventually did so, and wished to test my new powers with a tournament. You see, this is my Perfect Form you see me in Panny, do you mind if I call you Panny?"

"I hate being called tha-," she saw overshadowed by an even louder response from her mother, "OF COURSE NOT! YOU'RE NO FAMILY TO HER!"

"You know, Videl, you and Frieza have so many things in common."

"WHAAAAT!," Frieza crazily answering," WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING COMPARING ME TO THAT LOW-CLASS, BEEF JERKY, MAAMA-JAAMA, CHARLIE HORSE, BIG EYES, COCKY MOJO, CRACKER JACKER, MIDGET SELF! Oops."

"Just about that," Cell responded.

"JERRY, JERRY, JERRY, JERRY!," Goten yelled out in the rush of excitement.

"I don't understand, who's Jerry?" Goten, Trunks, Yamcha, and Sharpner sweatdropped.

"When something is crazy, people chant that," Sharpner answered.

"Okay then," Frieza said, "With you in mind Cell, JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY!"

"That sounds corny," snickered Trunks.

"What are you saying, you're corny," replied Goten. Trunks stomped on Goten's foot. "Ooowowowow!" Goten responded by doing the same."

"Ahh. This reminds me of the good old days," everyone froze when Vegeta spoke. "Let's bring some order here. Frieza, you and the woman-"

"Ahem," Videl said.

Ignoring her, Vegeta continued, "and the woman do have many similarities. You're both short, your parents have power and influence. At times, you're cocky. That's the truth."

"I've heard that many times in my life, so I don't feel upset," Videl confirmed.

"I bet you have- OH SNAP, WHAT THE F-," the was suddenly an explosion, with Frieza at the epicenter. Someone then made a weird laugh, kind of like this, "Muahahaha, hahaha."

Everyone turned around to see two people- and other person struggling- as they hovered in the room.

Author's Note: WOW! That was my favorite chapter to write just now. I hope you stand patient for the next chapter.


	6. The Crazy Bunch

Author's Note: Sheesh, what does it take to get reviews around here?

Disclaimer: Me, no own Dragon Ball Z. Got it?

_Perfect Experiences_

Chapter 6

Frieza had just been hit with a ki-blast in Mr. Satan's huge dining room. Everyone turned their heads to see the source. Piccolo, Goku and his struggling flyer protege, Uub. Chi-Chi then just gets crazy.

"Oh, my Goku's back. WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO LEAVE ME AGAIN IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

"Sorry, Cheech," Goku replies with a weak smile, while scratching the back of his head.

Cell notices the three, "So, I take it Piccolo fired that blast?"

"You're right. Why are you two back, I thought you were dead?" Piccolo asked.

"Hellooooo! Halo, above us," Frieza pointed at the halo over his head.

"So this is the evil Frieza you told us about, Master Goku? Uub asks, while finally deciding to stand.

"Yes, but I told you that you don't have to call me that, okay?" Goku says.

"GRANDPA," screams Pan in excitement.

"Hi, Panny- I mean Pan," Goku happily replies back.

"Oh, I think I'm going to be sick," Frieza makes vomiting gestures.

"It's about time you returned Goku. Your friends and family have been hardened by you leaving...again. Even some have bitter resentments." Cell points out. Gohan gets wide-eyed (I know the characters are Japanese, but I don't support racism) for a moment.

"I can take him," Uub charges at Frieza. Frieza blocks all of Uub's punches and kicks, then guts him in the stomach.

"UUB!" Goku screams out. Frieza then suddenly bursts out laughing.

"What's so funny," Goku yells out.

"It's not that. Dude, IT'S HIS NAME. UUB! UUB! UUB! UUB! Hahaha!"

Cell butts in, "Frieza, come on now. Let's be nice, you know we need to make friends."

"NO! LIKE THAT'S EVER GOING TO HAPPEN!," Chi-Chi screamed.

"Ugh! This woman drives me insane!," Cell exclaimed.

"I know," Goku laughed, "She does that to everyone."

"GOKU! HOW DARE YOU TALK OF ME LIKE THAT!" Chi-Chi was going nuts.

"I'd hate to say it, but he's right you know," Bulma said, then giggled.

"I wouldn't want interrupt your family feud, but we have two dangerous foes within our midst, how do you explain that," Piccolo boomed. Then charged at Cell.

Cell disappeared, then reappeared behind Piccolo. He had no time to react before he was roundhouse kicked into the wall.

"Hmph. Friggin' butterfly saying we need to make friends," Frieza muttered.

"PICCOLO!" Goku cries out.

"My goodness, you're all so weak. It's just madness. Getting defeated by a butterfly," Vegeta sadly shakes his head.

"If I can remember right, you were jacked up too," Goten says.

"JERRY, JERRY, JERRY, JERRY!" Everyone gives Cell a pure, genuine WTF! look. "It seemed like-I was supposed to- I thought, just never mind."

"I guess Cell," Goku speaks to him, "You're just as socially mindless as I am."

"Yes. Though you see, Goku, Frieza and I have been allowed to stay here, dead for three months. Our only rule is for one of us to kill anyone."

"Really, wow!" Goku exclaims in awesomeness. "I guess that should keep you guys in check."

Vegeta yells out in surprise, "KAKAROT! WHAT THE F- he's interrupted by Sharpner loudly yawning- ARE YOU THINKING! THESE FOOLS HAVE DRIVEN US INSANE! EVEN KILLED YOU! AND YOU'RE GOING TO SIT BY AND LET THEM EXIST ON THIS GOD-FORSAKEN PLANET!"

"Yeah, pretty much. They're dead, so what can we do. We can't kill them, and they can't kill anyone. What could possibly go wrong?" Goku explains.

"Well," Frieza starts to say, "These people could give us migraines with their bi- Sharpner yawns again, ladies and gentlemen- ing."

"Don't worry, I know these people well. Goodbye, everyone! Uub, and I have to get back with our training. It that really happens, Cell and Frieza, you come and let me know!"

"WHAT! JUST WHO'S SIDE ARE YOU ON!" Chi-Chi bellows.

"Come on, Mom. Calm down," Gohan instructs.

"CALM DOWN, I DON'T WANT TO CALM DOWN! THOSE TWO, THEY'RE BRAINWASHING HIM! THEY'RE BRAINWASHING MY GOKU!"

Goku and Uub wave their goodbyes, then teleport themselves away. In their departure, they leave a stunned crowd.

Author's Note: The story even shocked me, as I were writing these words. And so, don't forget for the next chapter of PE, coming soon. Did you recognize how Sharpner kept yawning? Man! He's almost as tired as me. For next time:

"Dude! It's his name! UUB! UUB! UUB! UUB!"


	7. The Gift of Torture

Author's Note: Finally, the Z-fighters, and the Z-foes will depart the Satan Mansion. Yay! I'm getting hot just thinking about this (No seriously, it's the summer, and I'm really hot- sheesh, you people are a little, too creative!)

Disclaimer: If you count some DBZ episodes and a movie, for owning DBZ, then there's your answer. And trust me, I wouldn't want to own Dragon Ball GT. *the audience shrieks*

A/N- this means 'Author's Note '

_Perfect Experiences_

Chapter 7

One week ago. That was really, a piece of work. Gohan and Videl had their fifth anniversary (A/N- I'm not describing it. I'm not making this into an M-Rated lemon. But if you do want to see it, check out 'Gohan and Videl's Honnymoon by Gbecool123 -the author seriously misspelled it-.). By the way, two of the universe's most powerful enemies came to Earth, to see their old 'acquaintants'. They met up at the Satan Mansion, in Satan City, inhabited by Mr. Satan (A/N- I'm feeling a little devilish, hmm.)

.Now the enemies, Cell and Frieza have found their places to stay. Frieza would stay at Capsule Corporation, it was decided after an extended version of Bulma and Vegeta's daily brawls, here's a sample:

"Woman! I don't need that skinny little bi- Sharpner yawned, he was staying over there as he couldn't pay for his apartment and lost it- ch, and that smartass butterfly staying in my home!"

"SHUT UP! FIRST OF ALL, IT'S OUR HOME, SOMEHOW! AND CELL'S NOT GOING TO STAY, JUST FRIEZA!

"Excuse me, could you two calm down a bit, I'm trying to rest," Sharpner speaks out.

"GO JUMP IN A BLOODY LAKE, YOU HALF-WIT! Now, I see why Videl didn't marry you. Well, Kakarot's brat wasn't any better either." Vegeta ponders, after getting wild (A/N- quiet your thoughts)

Cell was then allowed to stay at Kami's Lookout - or is it Dende's - with Piccolo, Dende and Mr. Popo (A/N: I just cry laughing whenever I say or hear his name.)

As for now, it was Saturday morning. Pan had just woken from her stuffed bed, hugged her stuffed bear (A/N- The one Goku won at the end of DBZ.), and walked downstairs to the living room. She then watched some cartoons while her parents were still asleep:

"Hey, Peppy!"

"What, Boney!"

"Whet's get some meffins from the be-kery, huh-huh-huh!" Pan laughed out loud. "Hah, hah. That's always funny."

_It was a terrible, and distant place. The ground shook, the air crackled with electricity, and people were flying away like feathers. Within the epicenter of all this mayhem were two bolts with energy colliding into one huge energy ball (AN: You should know what this is.). At the two ends was a child with spiky hair and a bruised, struggling body. At the other was a creature laughing manically, screaming out, "SAY GOODBYE!"_

_The large mass of energy that mashed in the center began to shift over to the boy. With a final push, the creature shouted, "DIE!" And the boy had little time to show fear before he was oblitera-_

Gohan was just sleeping now, until this bad dream had shaken him awake. It moved him with such force, that he somewhat flew back and his head cracked the bed-board behind him (AN: Don't laugh. I don't know what to call it.)

Videl flew awake hearing this. "Gohan! Are you all right, sweetie?"

"It's all right, I just had a bad dream. Now that Cell's back, I just keep remembering when I had to fight him." 

"It must have been some fight! You cracked the board, you see. You hard-head!"

Gohan smirked, "You know, you've broken one too. Remember?"

Videl blushed, "Well, that was our honeymoon. It happened by accident!"

Pan rushed upstairs, but stopped she saw something knocking on the window. Cell was hovering near the window, he then accidentally smashed it.

"You humans. You make everything so fragile. I just wonder how the powerfully gifted- such as myself- could possibly inhabit this planet."

"See that?" Pan pointed towards the bed-board, "Daddy broke it, heheheheheh!"

Cell let out a classic hearty chuckle (AN: Which is rare.), and snickered. He then regained his well-toned composure and spoke out, "You see what I mean? But anyway, Bulma said she wanted to see the two of you," he pointed to Pan and Videl.

"What about m-,"

"Nope," Cell hastily cut off Gohan's tone. "I'll take the two of them to Capsule Corp. with Instant Transmission." Cell could see that Videl was cautious, so he added, "Don't worry. I'll repeat, neither Frieza nor I can kill anyone, or we'll both be sent away. I especially do not want that to happen."

They considered, then relented. "All right, Gohan. We'll go, come on Pan. Let's get dressed." So they did, then Cell waited for them in the living room, and watched the cartoon Pan was watching:

"Hey, Bobby."

"Hey, Peppy!"

"You want to taste some of my me-ffins?"

"OH BOY! Me-ffins!"

"Oh no! This isn't a muffin, it's a cupcake. Ha-ha-ha!"

Cell commented on the show, "Hah. Funny entertainment."

"You were watching that?" Videl noticed with a funny look. Pan also giggled.

"Why not, it was already airing." Gohan then came downstairs to say goodbye to his family.

"Remember Cell, only take them to Capsule Co-"

"I KNOW ALREADY!" Gohan slightly frowned. He hugged Pan, then gave his wife a kiss.

"Do they always do that?" Cell asked Pan.

"Mm-hmm. They always do. Three days ago, I saw them at night in their room. They were-"

"Honey, must you say everything," Videl spoke through gritted teeth. She then ran to the kitchen, and grabbed two sets of plastic gloves."

"OH! YOU'VE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" Cell felt almost humiliated.

"Yup, I'm not getting any germs from you."

"Uh-huh. If I touch you, I might turn into a butterfly!" And so they left.

At Capsule Corporation, Frieza was wandering around the large atrium. The Briefs were having breakfast when Cell and his posse (AN: *snicker*) arrived at the kitchen table.

"There you are. Videl, I finally got that Saiyan-proof lock you wanted." Bulma beamed. 

"I going to put it on our bedroom."

"Does it have to do with the incident Pan just spoke to me about?" Cell asked.

Frieza then arrived. Vegeta began to say something to him.

"Frieza, I've decided to give you a gift." 

"What could that possibly be?"

"Go to Room A5. When you see a knob near the door, crank it the highest you can get it." Vegeta explained in a tone that no one else could hear him.

"Hmph." Frieza began to walk towards it.

Sharpner then walked towards the group. "Hello everyone. Hi Videl, you know, you were in my dreams last-!" Sharpner slapped his hand over his mouth.

Videl's eyes began to twitch, "Well,- I- take that as a compli-," she fumbled back a little.

Bulma chuckled, "You do know she's married right? It wouldn't be right if you- HOLY SH- Sharpner made a really loud burp-." The group heard Frieza cry out an earth-shattering scream from the distance.

"OH, HO-HO! NO WAY! There's no way that could have worked!" Vegeta fell out and broke his chair laughing.

"VEGETA, WHAT DID YOU DO!" Bulma screamed in his face.

"Calm down, I just told Frieza to set the Gravity Room at the highest level and get in it."

"BUT THAT MEANS-!" The gravity room then exploded. Bulma and Videl flew back, on top and on all fours on Sharpner.

_YEAH! _Sharpner thought. Then Pan climbed on top of them to see if their okay. _AWWW!_

"RAAAAHHHH!" Bulma was about to strangle Vegeta when he muttered, "Oh boy."

Within minutes, firemen, police officers, special forces teams and the media were all over the scene. Customers and employees fled the scene. One man ran in terror as his hair was on fire. And the funny thing was:

It wasn't Frieza or Cell's fault, well sort of.


	8. The End of the Prince As We Know It

Author's Note: What twisted adventures, or nightmares shall occur now. How is Frieza doing. Will Vegeta lose his sanity due to Bulma's tirade. Will I shut up?

Disclaimer: Do I own DBZ? No way.

_Perfect Experiences_

Chapter 8

"VEGETA! I'M GONNA FRIGGIN' KILL YOU! BI -a fire horn goes off- CH, I'LL CRUSH YOU!" Frieza yelled causing hundreds of people to hear."

"VEGETA! I'LL KNOCK THE LIGHTS OUT OF YOU!" Bulma yelled out also, she looked around for a frying pan to hit Vegeta with. She couldn't find one.

"Ugh. Videl, do you have a spare frying pan I could borrow?"

"Sure do," Videl mysteriously pulls a pan from behind her.

"Do all women have frying pans?" Sharpner asks from the ground. When Videl hears this, she grabs the pan and -CLONK-ed him on the head.

The whole city was in chaos. The S.W.A.T. fired rounds in all directions to make themselves look cool. The firemen misfired, and hit screaming and fleeing civilians with their high-powered water guns.

When Cell turned around to see this, he let out another laugh and flew over to the site.

"The stock market is doing very well today. SPECWIN's stock increased by 500 points."

"YAAAYYYYY! I'm a brilliant part-time investor." Gohan jumped up and down in excitement while eating cereal in his empty home as he watched the morning news.

"I am just receiving word that one of the chambers at the Capsule Corporation headquarters in West City has just exploded, and a fire is blazing out of hand."

"WHAAATTTT!"

"As you can see now," the image changed to C.C.'s fire, "someone is trapped within the flames." Everyone watching could see Frieza squirming around, and screaming some very colorful language aimed at someone known as Vegeta.

"Oh no, I have to go do something about this. Yet I can't let people see my identity." Gohan thought for a moment, then pointed his finger in the air and shouted "EUREKA! I have an idea!" He went over to his bedroom, opened a small box with two watches in it. He grabbed one of them, put it on and stupidly declared, "FEAR NOT CITIZENS, THE GREAT SAIYAMAN IS BACK! My girls are going to love this!" He then flew out the window towards Capsule Corporation.

The police had "secured the area", while in reality, they were just running around and screaming, (I'll lose the A/N: watch the Great Saiyaman saga to understand what I mean). When Cell landed near the fire, the police freaked out, "Oh no! It's a butterfly, open fire men."

Before the could take another breath, the officers found themselves on the ground. One man who could speak out said, "Whoa! You're fast."

"No, I'm Cell." (I know that was corny but this android has just about zero social experience. Like a rabbit scouring for potato chips. You all can flame me now. I'm just kidding, don't do that.)

Bulma watched the scene in horror after batting Vegeta a few dozen times. You could say she had an anime-style anxiety attack.

"Oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, oh no, OH NO! HOW WILL I MAKE UP FOR THIS, IT TOOK ME A LONG TIME TO BUILD. THE FIRE MIGHT SPREAD TO THE REST OF THE COMPLEX!"

Vegeta just shrugged and said one word, "Sorry."

Cell stood near the site and pointed his finger so the rest of the Z-Fighters could see Frieza. Gohan, dressed as the Great Saiyaman saw Cell pointing at the fire. It looked like he's the one who blew it up. So Gohan responded by rushing in trying to roundhouse kick Cell, but he grabbed his foot and threw him to the side of Bulma's house.

"Gohan, WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!" Cell roared out, with other things in mind as well. He grabbed Frieza's hand and saved him from the eternal torture of burning without end. The media had seen this.

"Whoa, did you see that?"

"Yeah, Cell just saved the lizard-man-person."

Frieza yelled back to them, "IT'S LORD FRIEZA, YOU JACKA-"

"Okay, I think that's enough, you're exhausted and fatigued."

The Fire Department eventually stopped the blaze after some effect. The Gravity Room had compressed gases that gave the fire strength and comically torturing Frieza, especially since he couldn't die. Not to mention he was packed from the high gravity level.

Videl and Pan ran outside to see the 'Hero of Justice' smashed into a wall, dazed and disoriented.

"Honey, are you all right. I know your dream was crazy, but why did you attack Cell?"

"It looked like he destroyed the Room. And from the start, I was worried of him taking you two without me. I was afraid that he'd try to-"

"IMBECILE!" Cell appeared and looked- as Frieza put it- "like a super-pissed fat boy who ate his last bag of beef jerky."

"And especially after you should know that I am immortal for now." He spat on the ground (he never spits on the ground) and walked away.

"Pan, do you see where he spit?" Videl instructed.

"Mm-hmm!"

"Don't walk near it."

Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry if you all missed my updates, I've been very time-consuming, and I've been thinking out many events for my next few stories, so I don't get plot holes. Goodbye, and remember:

"IT'S LORD FRIEZA, YOU JACKA-"


	9. Chapter 9 MUST READ!

Author's Note: *ATTENTION* For all readers, starting now, anyone can review my work. Even unlogged anonymous people can.

Disclaimer:

_"Honey, what's for dinner?"_

_Zero's Odyssey sweatdrops, "It's not DBZ?" _

_"Awww!"_

I'll be using these kind of disclaimers from now on.

_Perfect Experiences_

Chapter 9

"OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! OUT! (seven in a row, a new record)," boomed Bulma at Vegeta. After Frieza had been rescued from the explosion, Bulma had to shoo everyone away by telling them all it was a gas leak. Now the next day, Bulma's trying to hold her man responsible.

"I'M SICK OF YOU! I WANT YOU TO GET THE **HELL** OUT OF MY HOUSE!"

Everyone stared quietly, then Sharpner slowly and quietly chanted, "Jerry... Jerry... Jerr- augh!" Bulma socked this sucker in the gut. It made up for not fighting in the series. It really was a classic Kodak moment.

Sharpner rubbed his sore stomach with his middle finger, but Bulma took that as an insult.

"What! Two can play that game." Bulma stuck her index finger near her gut, imitating him.

Cell just stared in disbelief, "My gosh, you people are pathetic." He (or "it") turned to Bulma, "Oh, and you're using the wrong finger."

"Oh." She then pulled out the right finger.

"Fine then!" Sharpner gave up. He walked outside. That time, anyone could clearly see that Bulma's face was as red as a

"Nah, just forget about him." Videl quietly speaks out. "He's had more than his share of troubles."

"And there's the end of the main news-

(**WE INTERRUPT THIS STORY TO BRING AN IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT. PERFECT EXPERIENCES WILL BE DISCONTINUED AS I HAVE BEEN HEAVILY FOCUSING ON THE SEQUEL AND HAVE NO MORE LOVE FOR THIS ENTRY ANYMORE. I APOLOGIZE IF THERE IS ANY INCONVENIENCE.)**


End file.
